“MY WAY” TOUR, JUNE, 1988 –
TO DARWIN AND BACK –
Jim Foxon’s Meanderings.
Twas on the eighth of June
‘Twas worse by far than when I went
Upon my honeymoon
The wife was up and down all night.
(It wasn’t what you think).
The waterworks were quite all right.
We’d never had a drink.
Upon that morn at half past five
We had to catch a bus.
So mother stayed awake all night.
What a bloody fuss!
For SHE kept ME awake as well –
Nearly drove me barmy!
Brought back all those awful years
That I’d spent in the army.
And when we got out in the cold
Of morn – stars in the sky!
‘Twas cold enough to freeze ’em off!
Oh my, oh my, oh my!
But when we climbed aboard the bus
So mis-er-ab-le still,
We both thawed out a little bit.
We met a Ted called Hill.
The red-rimmed dawn came up and Ted
Unfurled the Aussie flag.
“Sing loud the National Anthem chaps –
No one’s allowed to lag!”
“Just sing, and don’t salute,” Ted said,
“The bus is rather jerky.
If you stand up and then salute,
You’ll fall head over turkey.”
That night up in Toowoomba
We all sat down to dine.
We’d had a session in the pu
With Fosters, Scotch and wine.
Thus while we exercised the fang,
No one was really stinking.
Yet still and all there’d been a bit
Of fairly serious drinking.
To say it’s merely pretty
Would greatly under-rate.
The neat, attractive gardens
The eye continually meets,
The bright and lovely houses,
The wide and sweeping streets.
Then on to Miles, a well kept town,
With Pioneer Museum.
Were all such things so well concealed,
Most folk would never see ‘em.
In central Queensland Roma is
Where boab trees abound.
They line its dusty, faded streets,
Misshapen, portly, round.
At Charleville straw hats appeared,
Fitted by Baz and Ted.
The fitting was a trifle weird,
But each lid found its head.
Yet there’s a price we have to pay
For anti-sun protection.
Our hats are marked with “Tours My-way”
Er…….”Myway Tours.” (Correction).
We saw the Stockman’s Hall of Fame –
Queen Liz was at this spot.
From miles around the people came;
The sun was flamin’ hot!
When she was asked just how she felt
The Queen said, “Well, of course,
My anal pain recalls the taim
When I fell orf my horse!”
In central Queensland towns, you know,
All people far and near
Will only wash in water, but –
They drink the Fourex beer!
In Winton’s pub I said: “Now mate –
Your water’s rather strong.
You pump, I guess, outside the town,
From some old billabong?”
“This water, mate,” says he, “don’t come
From any billabong.
It comes from DEEP BELOW, and hence –
The bloody awful pong.”
“I must confess,” said I, “that beer
Is better…Even stout.”
“Good-oh,” he said. “I’ll order two!
And don’t forget…Your shout!”
We’re taking off for Darwin now.
Say, just how does that seize ya?
Darwin! – Lovely northern jewel!
The next stop…Indonesia!